Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
