sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
