had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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