Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
