She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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