i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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