We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it because I queefed?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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