id be glad to
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
