i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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