omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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