i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
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I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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