the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Randomize
