Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
