So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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