I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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