smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
