Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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