bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
