please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
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No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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