We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We need to feng shui this bitch.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
