I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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