My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize