i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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