her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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