Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Still dying that you shit outside
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
