You work out of a Hotel?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
