Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I believe in your delicious
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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