It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
