her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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