I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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