i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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