He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
