kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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