Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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