spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
