I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
