just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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