noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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