just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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