when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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