I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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