I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
