I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
