Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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