is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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