I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you will always have a special place in my vag
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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