oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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