This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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