No stitches, just platelets and will power
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
