if you like me you must not know who I am
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
