why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
