More tranny stories later!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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