Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
