You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
