she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The Olympian is in my bed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
