I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
