a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
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She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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