i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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