You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
