Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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