Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize