Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
did i walk over a car last night?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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